Warning signs

Here are some situations which indicate you probably need help on the financial side of things:

1 Does your spouse deter you from seeking expert advice?

You are being influenced / pressurised from your spouse not to start / continue Court proceedings for the divorce. You are concerned about getting your fair share in a divorce settlement, but your spouse wants to avoid solicitors and the Court process, and you don’t trust his / her motives.

The spouse suggests:

"We can save lots of money if we avoid using lawyers"
"We should use mediation we don't need to go to court - we can do this ourselves"

You should be highly suspicious of this approach. This form of subtle influence - or pressure - is exerted at a time when you may be at your most vulnerable. It can be manipulative and designed to dissuade you from seeking the expert guidance which would strengthen your position and might weaken your spouse's. You are likely to be wholly unfamiliar with the divorce process and your spouse may already know a lot more than you about the possible outcomes. Avoiding acrimony is good, but going along with an approach suggested by your spouse may be unwise and seriously dangerous to your interests.

2 Do you feel you can’t trust your spouse?

This is a common feature of divorce, but when it comes to the finances do any of the following ring true?

The finances have always been hidden from you / you’ve never been fully in the picture about the family finances
There’s been an affair for some time, possibly funded from the family finances
You’ve received your spouse’s Form E. It’s complex and confusing and you’re not sure it represents full disclosure and whether it is truthful or accurate
You think money might be being siphoned off to a “friend” or relation, a secret bank account, perhaps being moved offshore
Your spouse has arranged a new mortgage on the family home
You’ve been asked to sign a financial / legal document - but you were uncomfortable that you didn’t quite know why
You think it’s in your spouse’s nature to be deceptive and he / she would be prepared to conceal assets from you

3 Are there business interests involved?

Is your spouse an entrepreneur, company owner/partner or a lawyer or accountant? Unless you are well-versed in business and the finances involved are trivial, you could use business-focussed help to level the playing field.

Do any of the following apply?

There’s a business relevant to the family finances, but you are not closely involved
You’re a shareholder / partner, but your spouse typically runs / controls the business side
You have not seen or you do not understand the business accounts
The business/es involve cash
The spouse is self-employed but the earnings flow through a limited company
Your spouse is / was a "high earner"

4 Do you have concerns about any of the following?